Like Words Together Reflections from the deep end of Practice.

24Aug/090

Excited/Anxious

I'm going back and forth between feeling really excited for the trip Wednesday mixed with my usual pre-trip anxiety. Like so much of the anxiety I don't expend as much energy trying to figure out why it happens and just try to work with it. A lot of people, even those without PTSD, get anxious about big trips. I'm just one of them and because I have PTSD it sometimes riles up other things making it seem more intense. End of story.

What's funny is that generally I'm anxious when the trip starts. CK is anxious the day before we're due to go home. Both of us have this fear that all hell will have broken loose while we're gone. I'm afraid I won't be there to help take care of it and CK fears having to come home to the uncertainty of it.

I started to pack clothing. I know I'm over packing but wanted to have a few options. The weather is supposed to be rather wet, especially the first few days. A tropical storm is coming near so a lot of rain. Should be dryer on the Kailua-Kona side, where we're headed on Thursday, and out on the boat/ocean on Friday. By the time we're hiking (probably Sunday) it should have some sunny times.

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