Like Words Together Reflections from the deep end of Practice.

Down Time

I feel at loose ends tonight. I could have went with CK to go stuff the bags that will be handed out as people show up for Open Source Bridge starting Wednesday morning, but I didn't feel like being around a bunch of people talking. I didn't feel anxious or anything, just not very social. I'd also rushed to go to the post office, drop off DVDs and picked up some veggies for dinner. Then a rush to make dinner so CK could eat and dash off.

Dinner's star was the beet greens. CK thought I was inspired by the tattoo of a bunch of beets sported by the woman who helps manage Scapegoat, maybe I was. I picked up a bunch of 4 small beets with gorgeous, lush greens and popped them into my bag along with kale, zucchini (soon won't need to do this) and other yummy produce. We've been eating out so much that it was really nice to have a very simple diner at home, even if it was rushed.

I had felt all fired up to get started on some art projects and have had some very clear thoughts as to construction, etc. I got upstairs and just felt unfocused. I ended up finishing Chozen's book, Mindful Eating, finally. Then I went downstairs to put away leftovers and do the dishes. After that I popped outside and tried to get the cages around the now very grown tomatoes. The effort of this and dinner have left beet

Mostly I've cleaned in my little office that lacks all things from an office (no desk, etc.). The space has been quite cluttered during the move and I'm feeling like it is contributing to my feeling unfocused when I'm in there. It isn't perfect and I need to make a plan to take a pile of clothes to the Useful Goods Exchange swap shop my friend runs in Southeast. It is a bit better, am shifting my sitting arrangement too.

I'm trying to remind myself, those voices inside that criticize and push me a long, that pretty much all of September through April has been change and upheaval. Yep, all for the good, but BIG. Things have just kind of piled up ad still seem to be piling around. I don't have to be constantly producing all the time - whether it is teaching yoga, making art, cooking (I turned down CK's idea that I make cookies tonight), writing, or anything else those inner voices deem as "Good Productive Work". Once in a while it is just fine for me to do nothing but finish a book, do the dishes and call it good.