Like Words Together Reflections from the deep end of Practice.

Could Have Been

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. My brain just wanted to keep on going. Thankfully I stayed asleep until Obie woke me up at 6:45.

I went back to bed after making up some food for him, but felt not only tired when I woke up, but down too. The down mood has persisted all day.

I'm sad friends are leaving. I'm more sad that I can't hug them goodbye. I'm sad that inviting people over for Thanksgiving is reckless.

Is saw a tweet today that noted that what what we're feeling right now, the anxiety in the country right now, is as if, "All of America is waiting on biopsy results."

CK was watching something about the fight to exonerate an innocent, Black man on death row. At the end, seeing statistics for how many innocent people are killed, she said, "We could have been such a different country."

That sums it up so well. The dread/hope cycle around the election combined with a grief for what might have been, an America that might have been.

Then again, the deeper I go into the history of the founding of this country, perhaps this is the only place we could have ended up.