Like Words Together Reflections from the deep end of Practice.



I grit my teeth, particularly in my sleep. With sufficient force that I need to have sealants done on the 12 cracks caused by the force of my clenching my teeth. I've done this since I was in my teens. Probably earlier, but in my teens they pointed to it as a cause of the terrible headaches I would have.

Uh yeah. No sign of anything in that one. Nor the insomnia I can remember not having.

Anyway, I've been having one of those headaches for days. My "BruxGuard" broke several weeks ago. It was going towards 2 decades old, so I can't really complain except for the need of having molds taken of my mouth and the cost of a new guard.

So, yes, I put it off until my head is just pounding. It isn't helped by the fact that my allergies are still pretty active and I've been sneezing a lot. It hurts from my shoulders up my entire head. Throbbing particularly bad in my left molars. Generally it has begun to feel like something has hit me across the face. Joy.

Today my new guard arrived and it is gigantic compared to my old one. I've had wisdom teeth come in on top, since the first guard was made, so it stretches around those teeth and right into the gums of my lower teeth (where no wisdom teeth ever appeared). Ugh.

I was directed to sit and wait until they could get a chair for me. So much for my In-and-Out plan at the dentist with no anxiety medication or someone to be there with me. Metta practice in the waiting room (much to the interest of the late teens waiting as well). Then into a chair with all the familiar, unsettling smells and noises. More Metta until the dentist came and while he was there.

There was much grinding and rather painful fitting this afternoon. Better when he finished with it but it still feel enormous in my mouth tonight. I'm to try it out for a few days to see if I can sleep with it, if not he grind it down a bit more. I hope so, I really need to give my head a break from the pressure at night.


Dentist Day

Wow, what a day. I was feeling OK about the dentist appointment until about an hour before it happened and then the tension surrounded me like a cape, pulling on the front of my chest. I didn't feel panicked as much, but I was just taut and cold. Finally I took some Xanax before we left and it settled in by the time the dentist was working on my teeth. Although I think it would have been good to have had it a little earlier so the cleaning and flossing would have been a little less intense (I particularly dislike someone flossing my teeth).

It went fine and my teeth are good, although they'd like to do some sealants on several of the teeth to protect them from getting cavities. I dislike the idea of more visits, but it would better than getting cavities and having the more invasive work done. AM and I were out of there after about an hour and got home in time for me to do a little more work before packing up to go to yoga.
In some ways class and the effort to bicycle there felt frustrating. I still felt foggy from the Xanax, my mouth still feels sensitive and I just felt tired out. Although I had a peach and a smoothie before going to class I felt really depleted afterward and a bicycle ride home seemed a daunting task made even more so by finding I had a flat tire when we came out. CK heroically fixed my flat then suggested we stop and have dinner at Thai Ginger.
I'm just so glad to be crawling into bed in just a moment. Curling up under the covers with CK and going to sleep in a while. I was trying so hard to be positive today but I was just feeling at low reserves and was hugely grateful that CK didn't seem too bothered by it. She just stepped in helped me and was gentle with my crankiness.