Like Words Together Reflections from the deep end of Practice.

3Dec/200

The Big Gift

We finally got the old couch hauled away and about a week later the new couch arrived. We put it together last night. It isn’t an upgrade, but it’s such an improvement.

CK keeps worrying that she didn’t get us a “big gift”, but now that it’s here it is easier to remind her that she did! The new, upgraded chair cushion is great both in color and feel. Tomorrow I’ll put the matching foot rest together.

It’s also a furniture refresh we could do safely from home. Delivery was safe, one persons barely entered with a mask on and the door wide open. We could put it together ourselves. COVID changes priorities a lot.

CK had an interaction with a care provider today that left her feeling bad about herself and eating. Given how hard we’ve worked for her to enjoy food again, especially given her weight loss due to food apathy this year, I was livid.

I’d wanted to use my boxing game, but discovered the controllers were dead. (I’m just now remembering there’s TWO sets!) I was agitated about CK experiencing food shaming and couldn’t focus so I rearranged some small furniture in the living room. It looks cozy and was a great surprise to CK when she came upstairs.

2Dec/200

Pie Over Indulgence

I’m waiting for my mild heartburn to subside. I polished off my pie for dessert with wine. One or the other, since it was really 2 slices worth, would have been fine after takeout burgers & fries, but both was too much.

I’d a simple plan to make something, but our new, inexpensive IKEA sofa showed up this morning and putting it together kind of wore us out. CK fed the creatures while I picked up food.

Last night I didn’t have wild dreams. I think starting the new memoir in therapy, along with all the grief stacking up around this time of year and Obie dying, really has been stirring up my subconscious.

That’s all without COVID which hangs over our lives. Vaccines are being rushed, but then we’ll have all the anti-vax folks out in force saying it’s a conspiracy! I’m so tired of these people.

I finished a new piece today, a tiny shrine, and got it into the post office this afternoon! Saturday my art group is all getting together online and everyone’s mailing a package this week so we’ll all have one to open when we’re together.

The bare tree has lost interest to Ursa, tomorrow we’re going to decorate! Thankfully we already have a theme of non-breakable ornaments!

21Nov/200

Rat, No Rat

The traps weren't sprung this morning. Bertie didn't go on alert all day.

We set one out in the pantry section of the garage, a place we've caught one before, and reset out the basement one.

Watching Ursa with toys we can tell he'd kill birds, bugs, amphibians, reptiles, and small mammals. He's far too tiny right now so we're keeping him away.

20Nov/200

Rat vs. Sofa

We still have a rat in the house somewhere.

We have disassembled our terrible sofa. It didn't help us get rid of the rat, but we found droppings under it after Bertie alerted on it tonight.

Tomorrow I talk to the junk haulers. CK is ordering a sofa with legs making it is easier to clean beneath. We're pulling the pieces out of the house and covering.

Our hated of the sofa and the rat overwhelmed us and we took the horrid thing apart. We reached a point where we just wanted it gone! We decided against dragging the three large pieces out of the house in the dark!

CK set up traps. We've got them on each floor.

Tonight feels like this year's just continuing to be dramatic as fuck.

19Nov/200

Autumn Rats

Several years ago, as Autumn got truly wet and cold, a young rat broke into the house. Puck caught and killed it. He was proud forevermore.

There's a rat in the house.

Bertie alerted to it downstairs. We tried to keep it down there, and our animals away from it, by closing the door. We deployed a trap in a box, adding an additional layer of impediment to one of the dogs trying to grab it..

Instead of going for the box it has come upstairs. I saw after doing dishes, running across the living room.

I've put the trap upstairs. I'm in the yoga room with the kitten.

This year. Of course this year we get the repeat of a rat.

Kitten news: sitting close to Obie on a chair!

18Nov/200

Kitten Induced Terror

This morning the kitten flipped himself through the stairwell rails and dropped several feet onto the hardwood stairs. He then ran into the basement and hid while growling.

I thought I would throw up when I realized what happened.

Brow and I both ran down the stairs. Bertie fell down part of the steps he was rushing. He fell again coming up because he was worried.

I felt this terrible shame that is failed to keep the kitten safe. Certain CK would get angry that I wasn't careful.

Ursa seems fine. CK wasn't mad, she reminded me that he's inadvertently knocked himself off the bed twice.

She got why I felt so bad.

Power went out again too. This led to pizza for dinner.

Still feeling sad and demoralized. My students shared today that most of them are feeling the same.

Today the kitten slept with Dora, which was pretty great.

15Nov/200

Days of Exhaustion

Today we have both been tired and our low energy has been making use both blue. It doesn't help that the headlines after full of T* supporters holding a parade and rally rejecting the election, most of them without masks.

COVID is so bad right now and people are intending to have Thanksgiving dinners with 10 or more people attending! Hospitals are once again low on supplies and beds.

I'm feeling so irritable about it all that I want to scream again. I realize that my self-directed anger has been very high today too.

This is why I was up at midnight playing Animal Crossing while the kitten sleeps on me.

The tiny kitten is helping. The way Dora had taken to mothering him is sleeping very sweet. I also lay down with Obie for a while today, who was very happy about that.

14Nov/200

Perfect Kitten

He's demanding, it's surprising house loud a creature that's 2 pounds, 9 ounces, makes! He wants out of the bathroom and into the yoga room with one of us. CK's den is fine too, he spent much of the afternoon in there with her.

Mostly he wants to be held. Bursts of kitten exuberance, old shoelaces are the best, but mostly snuggles. Right now he's trying to eat my hoodie tie.

He loves you get up on our shoulders!

We've introduced him to the dogs. Dora became Momma Dog, she had a litter years ago, and groomed him. He was unafraid of her and was playing!

Bertie will take more work. He's so over excited that he jumps up still.

CK posted online that he's perfect. I'm really glad since I feel like I keep being there one with unplanned creatures that fall in love with me and I them!

He's such a good antidote to the incoming winter blues alongside another COVID shutdown.

13Nov/200

Kitten Day

Today I finally got to bring home the tiny kitten our friend fostered and I fell for. When CK meet him he wasn't quite the same, but today he put his paw on her forehead as she leaned over to look at him and now she's as smitten as I was.

He's loudly crying right now because I spent a little time with him while brushing my teeth. It's good first night all alone and my heart breaks a little, but we're being strong and are going to try and get him to have a bedtime routine.

Given the surging COVID totals and mayhem being caused by the GOP, T* still hasn't conceded, a day with a new kitten is really welcome.

12Nov/200

Midweek Holidays and Other Interruptions

Today's Veterans' Day. I thought about my Father and the tangle of bluster and myth he told about his time in the Navy and his "Service Connected Disability".

I've read paperwork that came to me when he died. He'd actually been drinking on duty, but it still came out for him. The VA's attempt to treat his back created more problems. He was also emotionally and mentally unstable his whole life, making frequent in-patient stays in the psychiatric ward at the VA here in Portland.

Mostly I tried to keep our day as even as possible. Midweek holidays throw CK off, but we managed to keep both our moods pretty even today by checking in. I was disappointed with dinner, mine was kind of experimental and it turned out edible enough.

We made some mutual progress on basement cleanup. CK continued on with her project to build us a NAS. It's already built and now she's going through old hard drives and is moving the data onto the NAS she built out of mostly spare parts! I started tackling the towers of unsorted stuff around my desk.

My therapist once suggested that my having random areas of unsorted stuff needing attention at some point in the future might not be the failing I feel it is. It might just be how my brain works. I'm not wild about this, I'd like to be a highly organized person who knows where everything is at all times.

Kitten tomorrow! I was sad to discover that while CK and I were talking about hard drives I missed the call to come pick him up today.